To My Tiniest Humans,
I love you both. More than the whole wide world. More than I ever knew was possible. Good Lord I need a break tonight though! I keep telling myself that the times when you’re snuggly and sweet make all of this worth it but right now it’s a hard sell.
You are currently screaming your damn fool heads off because we put you in your beds. This is the fourth screaming fit in less than 24 hours in the time that you’ve been with me. I spent over eight hours at work up to my eyeballs in stress and crazy and it was bookended by screaming tantrums from my almost two year olds. My nerves are frayed and my patience is like rice paper.
It’s taken me a while to convince Daddy that when I say “I want to run away.” That I don’t mean forever. I just mean for a couple hours so I can pee by myself and maybe not have anyone wipe their nose on me. (It’s really a good thing that you guys are so cute when you look up at me after you do that nose wipe thing because anyone else would get punched for doing that.) I would never ever want to leave you for good. I could use a vacation though and I’ve learned that it’s healthy and okay to give myself a time out. I’ve learned that it makes me a better Mommy for you.
I hope that you guys can forgive me for the times I haven’t been a good Mommy. I’m learning how to do this just like you’re learning how to human. Hopefully once you get older I’ll have a better handle on all of this. I doubt it. If history is any indicator, you two will continue to surprise me. I pray every day for our continued growth together. I want to be the best that I can be for you and your siblings. I love all of you so much.
You’re quiet now. It felt like eons while you were crying but as I look at the clock I see that it was only minutes. A brief blip on the journey of our day. The days are long but the years are short.
Sleep tight my snuggle bugs. I’ll see you in the morning.