New Nose

Hello 2022!

It’s only fitting that I start the new year with a poop story. So here goes.

My Twins are obsessed with me. Like crazy stalker obsessed. They follow me everywhere demanding snacks, juice, bubble gum, and hugs whining “Mommy I neeeeeeedd you!” all the while.

As you can imagine, they are more than happy to ignore bathroom privacy etiquette. Mom’s everywhere know my pain. There is no cure for it. Locks on the doors only cause more disruption in my experience so, in our house, the little terrorists just waltz right in. Today, as usual, I tried my best to sneak off to the bathroom for a nice quiet potty and, as usual, my hopes were shattered.

The only difference today was that one Twin fell asleep early and her more assertive and demanding sister jumped on the opportunity to have Mommy to herself with intensity. I did my best to try and convince her to leave. Rather than opt for the much tried and failed, “please get out,” or “Mommy would like to potty by herself,” I decided to try a technique that usually works for my husband. I loudly and with confidence declared, “Ooo Girl! Get out! Mommy is pooping and it stinks!” She immediately turned on her heels and departed.

I sat silently on my throne and smirked, feeling victorious and happy to have a moment’s peace. Clearly, I thought, The Hubs has it all figured out. My peace was shattered as quickly as it had arrived though. Before I could try again to make the tiny human leave, she held up something that made me laugh.

In her tiny hand she proudly held aloft a new nose. She’d found a plastic nose from a set of those silly glasses that have noses attached and brought it to me. “Here Mommy! Now you have a new nose!” I promptly put it on and snapped a picture while she glowed with pride at her own inventiveness. I have to admit, it was pretty funny and creative. I guess sometimes the interruptions are worth it.

Happy New Year everyone! May your 2022 be filled with unexpected laughter and creativity!

Published by momvanconfessions

I’m just a first time Mom with 3 bonus kids, set of twins, 2 bad dogs, and a full time job who’s trying to get through parenthood and life without completely screwing it up.

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