We had a rough night last night. After weeks of back and forth with insurance and adjusters, we were just informed that we don’t have flood insurance like we thought. Clearly, it’s on us for not having kept up with our policy information, I just wish that one of the four people that we’d talked to with the insurance company before last night had corrected us when we said that we had flood insurance.
So our consolation of “we have flood insurance so at least this means we can replace our crappy floors” is out the window. To add insult to injury, the damage to our roof (which didn’t even cause any of the water damage) has a deductible of $4,500. Our savings is wiped out completely and we still won’t have floors. We’re praying that the walls are okay but haven’t been able to get a contractor out here yet to check.
I did a lot of ugly crying last night. I’m emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. I feel broken. I’m struggling with patience and frustration and so is The Hubs. We’ve been trying to see the silver linings but I’m running out of steam. It’s hard not to sit in my head and make a list of all the things in our house that are broken that we can’t afford to fix. The oven, the floors, the drainage in the back yard, etc.
There’s no slowing down or end in sight right now. It feels like We’re in the middle of the storm cloud. Maybe it’s true, the darkest hour is just before the dawn. I sure hope dawn comes soon. I’m a naturally optimistic person but this is a true test for me. I’m running out of positives. It’s starting to feel like lipstick on a pig when I try to find the bright side.
The other day a friend posted a thought that resonated with me. “Maybe God gave us the mountain to show others that it could be moved.” Part of me finds peace in this idea that maybe one day our journey will help others. The other part of me wishes that the mountain would just go the hell away and people find another example.
Pray for us my Dears or send positive vibes out into The Universe, whatever it is that you do. Our world isn’t ending, we aren’t homeless, and so many people have it so much worse, but we’re struggling. I’m struggling.
Mom Van Confessions 