I don’t feel like writing right now. I don’t feel like doing anything. Despite working hard on my mental health, I’m on the struggle bus right now. I’ve been feeling like crap for almost two weeks now so I haven’t been exercising. I haven’t been writing because I’m unhappy with how things are going with the kids. Work is work. My marriage is going well right now though so at least I have that. I’m holding on to that. So I don’t feel like writing. What’s there to say? My therapist says to write anyway. She says to fight against the chaos and take time for my sanity. I guess that leaves me here, writing against my will. Haha!

Last week my daughter hit me, pinched me, told me no about a thousand times, fought so hard against getting dressed that she ripped her outfit, and tried to bite me on more than one occasion. They’ve both been a lot to handle. After a certain point you just can’t take the screaming anymore. Or the clinginess. They want to be on me all the time. It feels unending and it makes me feel like a shitty parent when I don’t want them around me.

Weekend before last I had the dumb idea to take all of the kids to the Renaissance Festival. The big kids were amazing. I can’t think of a time when I’ve been more impressed by their behavior and I told them as much. The tiny humans were more deranged monkey than human. At one point I found myself carrying The Conqueror under my arm like a duffle bag as she kicked, screamed, and cried. Wanna know how to get everyone to look at you instead of all of the excitement of a Renaissance Festival? Walk by with a screaming toddler. It’s a blast.

So that’s me. That’s my life right now. Two evil little cuties ruling everything and teaching me patience and strength through their very being. This, my friends, is why God made babies cute.

Published by momvanconfessions

I’m just a first time Mom with 3 bonus kids, set of twins, 2 bad dogs, and a full time job who’s trying to get through parenthood and life without completely screwing it up.

2 thoughts on “Bleh.

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