“We have met the enemy and they are us!” This phrase was first used in its current form by Walt Kelly to describe the War in Vietnam. Naval commander Oliver Hazard Perry said the original phrase “We have met the enemy and they are ours” after a victorious battle during the War of 1812. There is a subtle but important variation between the two. Kelly implies that damage is self inflicted but Hazard conveys that the enemy is now in our control. Unfortunately for me, my currently life status tells me that “We have met the enemy and they are us!”
Balancing parenthood and work has shown me time and again that I’m often my own enemy. No one is perfect, and I’m not striving for that but it would be nice if Past Diana would give me a break sometimes and Present Diana would start planning a little better for the future. Take the time to maybe set my clothes out at night for the next day. Watch one less video on Facebook and draw for a few minutes instead. I complain about not having “me time” or “fulfilling time” when I know that all I need to do is push for it and I’ll get it. Fighting yourself for yourself can be difficult though.
Then there is the ugly, dark enemy: Self Doubt. She’s a colossal ass that I could do without. It’s so easy to talk myself out of being amazing when I let Self Doubt steer the ship. On the other end of the spectrum is my Ego. What person doesn’t want to think they are awesome?! Somewhere in the middle lie Humility and Confidence. They are allies but it’s so much easier to fall into the traps of Ego and Self Doubt and pretend they are my friends. It took me a couple of years to start this blog. I’d let Self Doubt creep in and tell me that my poor, fragile Ego just couldn’t take the failure if no one liked what I wrote. I was foolish.
Every day I strive to make the enemy mine and not let the enemy be myself. It’s a fine line. Do I hit snooze one more time and risk having a frazzled morning because I rushed to get out of the house or do I get out of bed and attack the day? Do I walk to the kitchen and throw that diaper away there or do I risk having to take time cleaning it up if the dogs fish it out of the bathroom trash? I’m pretty bad at it most days. The victories I have are probably “duh” moments for other people. A win is a win though right?
So here’s to You and Me today, Dear Reader! May our victories be large and our enemies small!