The Hubs

Trying to decide what stories to tell you has made me realize that a lot of my favorite stories involve poop. If that doesn’t tell you about my family I don’t know what does. Taking a break from potty humor, I thought I’d tell you all a little more about my partner in crime.

The Hubs and I met online. He got my number when he gave me the best response I’d ever heard to my favorite dating question. When asked, “What was the last thing you learned that really interested you?” He told me that he’d just finished a book on Quantum Physics. Total. Panty. Dropper.

The first time he called me I thought I was being catfished. He’s very smart but he has a very thick redneck accent. I spent at least a minute in open mouthed disappointment trying to figure out if I was being punked. We spent the next hour talking on the phone. He talks a lot and so do I. We talked so much on our first date that we only ate an appetizer and desert because we were talking too much to decide what to order. Our house is rarely quiet. After three and a half years together he still brings me little gifts of fun facts and weird knowledge on a regular basis.

Given how much he looks like a bear it’s a wonder the kids don’t look like bridge trolls. (Although The Boy recently informed us that he does have sexy manly man hair on his chest but its blonde so you can’t see it.) His chest hair grows into his neck hair which then grows into his beard hair. He’s also muscular and tattooed. I tell him all the time that if I looked the way he did I’d probably be in jail by now. I firmly believe that God put me in this tiny body so that I couldn’t get into too much trouble. We all agree that its impossible for me to look hard. He, on the other hand, looks like he could smash things quite easily. (This is probably because he can.) Despite his big scary exterior he has a smile and laugh that are even bigger. His laugh is one of my favorite sounds. (He’s going to make fun of me for that later but I don’t care.)

Beyond being big, scary, and chatty he’s also super smart and can fix pretty much anything. I watched him fix a friend’s motorcycle with a piece of cork and some electrical tape once.  I lean towards the book smart side of life. He is mechanically inclined but enjoys reading things like manuals and how to guides. Between the two of us we can figure most things out. When we can’t (like when a baby is crying and we have no idea why) we call our parents.

I’d love to say we have this whole marriage and parenting thing figured out but we totally don’t. Its definitely a work in progress. Some days I threaten to sell him to an old lady that’s looking for a boy toy. Most days I tell him I’d marry him again. Today is a marry him again kind of day. I’m glad that we found each other. Its nice to have someone just as weird as I am to hold my hand through the insanity.

Published by momvanconfessions

I’m just a first time Mom with 3 bonus kids, set of twins, 2 bad dogs, and a full time job who’s trying to get through parenthood and life without completely screwing it up.

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