It’s been too long since I’ve blogged but I’ve had a lot on my mind and my plate. I wanted to share some of my current journey with you though. I am a firm believer that all life has value and a greater place in the divine plan. That “The Universe”, God, quantum physics, whatever you call your chosen version of a higher power, will send us signs if we only open ourselves to them. I do not believe in coincidence. So in December of 2019, when I began seeing signs of change to come in my life, I kept my eyes and heart open.
The Universe has sent me and my little family sign after sign that the time has come to be brave. In December as we opened our Christmas gifts I began to see a theme. We’d chosen books for the big kids that we’re all about men and women who changed the world. People who were brave and fought for their goals and beliefs. For Crazy Eyes we chose “Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls.” For The Boy we picked out “Stories for Boys Who Dare to be Different: True Tales of Boys Who Changed the World Without Killing Dragons.” (Both are pretty awesome and I highly recommend them. The kids are even sharing what they learn with each other.) For my husband I selected, “Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery.” Sensing the theme yet? Without even truly thinking about it, I was seeking out stories of real people who faced their fears. When I opened my gifts, I stepped back for a second, looked up at Sassy God and said, “okay, I see you. I’m listening.”
My gifts included multiple Frida Khalo references from a few different people and not one but TWO separate books about being brave. One is a wonderful book titled “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Living an Awesome Life.” If that’s not an obvious sign I don’t know what is. (Shout out to my lovely friend for seeing it and thinking of me. She not only shares her crayons with me, she’s also always there to cheer me on.) Okay, fine, we all got lots of reading material. So what? Well, for me at least, the opportunities to Be Brave began rolling in.
In January the Hubs and I traveled to California for the first time. I tried new foods, met family that I’d heard about for my whole life, and visited Mount Soledad where I got to see my Pawpaw’s memorial placard. It was life changing. You can read all about that here. The Twins also started Daycare and I took on new responsibilities at work. All things that scared me to varying degrees but had to be faced head on. In February my chances to be brave were smaller but nevertheless calls to action. The Twins turned two so that was scary enough. Haha!
Then March came. On Friday, March 13 life as I knew it came to a screeching halt. Suddenly I couldn’t go into the office. I began working from home while caring for The Twins and sometimes the big kids too. No more stopping by the store on the way home. Things had to be thought about and planned. Bills had to be delayed and money set aside just in case.
By that time the whole world was facing real fears daily. We were all being forced to Be Brave. Since then it’s been lesson after lesson in trying new things. I started gardening even though historically I’m only good at killing plants. Not a big step in bravery but it made me nervous so I sucked it up and did it anyway. I had to start truly asking people for help because I was getting overwhelmed with work and childcare.
I even started my own business making and selling soaps. My colleague laughed when I told him that I’d started a new business during quarantine. He said only I would get bored during a pandemic and start a new business. When my boss asked me why I decided to do this now if all times my answer came quickly. When The Universe presents you with an opportunity to do something you love you seize it. You see the call to Be Brave and you take it. In a short while I’ll be selling online and have my legal business filing taken care of. Just writing that makes my heart race a little. It’s taken off way faster than I thought it would and it’s been a little overwhelming. It makes me really happy though and spreads joy to others along the way. I could never have done it without taking a risk.
When I think about what’s happened so far this year and what the future holds it’s hard not to let the fear paralyze me. Thanks to all those signs and reminders though I’m continuing to do my best to Be Brave. I’m keeping my heart and mind open to what The Universe is telling me. I’m fighting the self doubt and anxiety that creeps in. I try to remind myself that I’ve overcome many things in life and that it’s my job to continue doing so.
We’re all having to be brave right now, but we can do this. Keep your eyes, heart, and mind open. You are amazing, and I have faith in you.