Self Quarantine Day 31: Reset

Tonight I am doing nothing. Well, not quite nothing. I’m obviously allowing myself to blog but I’ve set a timer. Fifteen minutes is all I get. Then it’s reset time.

I’ve been working non-stop for days. I wake up and clock in. I work for 8 hours, sometimes more. All while juggling the needs of my children and husband. Sometimes, like today, I get an escape and I get to go into the office while my Mom or Mother-in-law takes The Twins. A good day of work brings with it the satisfaction of mental exhaustion but it also brings with it the exhaustion of mental exhaustion.

Gone are the days of the card ride home to decompress. The commute to work to get my mind right. I never thought that I’d miss sitting in traffic.I wake up early and end up doing housework. Or, even more common, I get five minutes of alone time and then the Twins wake up.

I have projects that I want to get done. A new recipe to cook. A clean house. A fruitful garden. A new rosary to make. Clothes to wash. Soap to make and sell. A TV show to watch. A blog to write. A sketch book that must be filled by August and only has three sketches. Apps to distract myself with.

Not tonight. Tonight the idea of doing any of it, even the things I love to do just felt too damn much like work.

So tonight I do nothing.

No sketches, no soap, and sure as hell no dishes.

Tonight I’m unplugging even though part of me had a little freak out moment as I typed those words. Publish a post and not check on it?! Not check Facebook for soap orders or random distracting videos?!

Nope. None of it.

I’m running a bath, reading my book, (an actual story and not a self-help or management book), putting on my husbands pajamas, eating chocolate, and going to bed.

My timer is going off now. Rest calls me.

Goodnight.