Fishy Failure

About a month ago the topic of getting the kids a small pet cane up. I, of course, put my foot down when The Hubs and The Boy started talking about getting a turtle. They smell and require a level of initial investment and upkeep that I just don’t think the kids are at. After much discussion we agreed on a fish. A fish. ONE fish. We went to the store with the kids and had them help us make decisions and pick out what we needed.

After a couple of hours in the store with the kids we are now the proud parents of SIX fish….well………five fish as of last night. Poor Oreo. He went inside the little house in the tank and died. The Hubs has tried to tell me that the fish looked funny when we got it but I think we’re just shitty ass fish parents.

We are not, however shitty parents of our tiny humans and so I went off this morning to buy a new fish just like Oreo to replace the original with before the kids come home. Now, let me mention that we would never be doing this if the fish had died while the kids were here. If they were here we would have discussed it then said a prayer as we buried our poor little Oreo. Unfortunately this happened on our watch and we just can’t afford the upheaval that would come if they thought we were negligent and killed their fish. I can see it now. “Do you promise you won’t kill our fish?!” Solemnly telling the fish goodbye as they leave for school on Monday.

As with any situation, I texted my Mom. Big mistake there. It’s been non-stop dead fish jokes since then.

My plan seemed so smart. It was smart right up until I got to the pet store and saw a nearly empty fish tank where there’d been plenty of fish just like Oreo two weeks before. It turns out they were pretty popular. There was only one fish left and it was too small and had too few black dots to pass for our fish. Crappppp! How the heck is that going to work?!

After freaking out in the pet store fish aisle for a few minutes I brought the fish home and hoped for the best. It’s been a few hours and Oreo (or off-brand Oreo as I like to call him) hasn’t been outed as a fake yet. Hopefully the kids never catch on. If you know us personally do me a favor and don’t mention it to the kids. I’d hate to have to lie and say that the fish got smaller because we put him on a diet and that his smaller size just makes it look like he has fewer spots.