The Very Hungry Mommy-pillar

Disclaimer: Due to technical issues this didn’t get posted last night and I’m just realizing it. Ugh!

So far this week I’ve eaten half of a Giant sized loaf of Bunny Bread by myself. I’ve also had a ton of pasta and about four slices of cake. And candy. And some fruit. (I’m not a total disaster). I could probably polish off a large extra cheese pizza with Canadian bacon, mushrooms, and black olives by myself right now. *drools* This morning I ate half of my lunch while stuck in traffic on the way to work. Right now I’m making myself a baked potato with turkey chili and cheese on top. I’m stress eating. I am The Very Hungry Caterpillar in Mom form.

The combination of The Boy in the Hospital, The Twin’s Birthday party this weekend, my husband’s struggles with sleep, work, and the bills that I haven’t been able to pay yet has me neck deep in the feeding trough. If I wasn’t blessed with my metabolism or maybe if I hadn’t run out of damns to give I’d probably be stressed about the amount I’m eating as well. You have to pick your battles though right? I try to remind myself that it could be worse and that I’m not the center of the universe. That second part is a character flaw of mine and it has been for a long time. Sometimes I think it’s why God sent me a thousand kids. Kids keep you humble and remind you that the sun doesn’t shine out of your butt like you think it does. At least that’s the way it is in my case.

I tried to be “cool” and do that whole “Mommy needs a glass of wine” thing that seems to be so popular with Moms my age. When I’m honest with myself I know that unless it’s Boonze Farm or Sutter Home Vineyards I usually have to convince myself that wine is worth the taste. Full disclosure, I’m not even 100% sure that Boonze Farm is wine but the bottle looks like a wine bottle so that’s what we’re going with because I’m such a classy broad. When the wine wears off there are still diapers and laundry to deal with plus a headache. Admittedly the headache probably has more to do with the quality of “wine” than anything.

I thought about working out but that gave me the sweats just thinking about it. Mom’s who find the time and energy to work out are freaking champs. Bless you babies! You’ve got it goin on! Chasing my kids is enough work. I think the best I can hope for in that department is that after I keel over from all the horrible things I’ve eaten some nice lady who has taken care of her body will find it in her heart to take care of my sweet husband. (I’ll still haunt her though because I’m petty and he’s mine.)

So I eat. And I blog. And I find things to laugh about. Today my coworkers make me laugh. Tonight I get to write this blog for you and for myself and hopefully I made you laugh too. Good news is the potato filled me up. At least for now. I feel a little less stressed. The kids are in bed. I finally got to take my shoes off. Small victories. Maybe if I burrito myself in my comforter I’ll wake up looking like a butterfly. A Mom can dream right?