I never thought I’d be working with The Hubs. In fact, I openly spoke against it in the early days of our marriage. “No way we could work together.” “I didn’t go to college for four years to just be your helper.” “I don’t think spending that much time together is a good idea.” “I don’t want to lose who I am because every part of our lives is connected.” “We can’t do that, we’ll kill each other.”
When The Universe decided to go all topsy turvy in August of 2023, The Hubs and I decided that it was time for me to start my own business, to pursue my dream of being a business consultant. Life had other plans though, and one short month later the opportunity to take over the company that he’d spent 11 years doing work for very suddenly fell into his deserving hands. We knew he couldn’t do it on his own, even if the company was small, and that it was better to build up the company that was already making money than to chase new customers and income with my venture. We told ourselves that it would be temporary, that we’d buy the business then quickly grow it and get him some outside help. The Universe had other plans, much more drawn out and exhausting plans.
In November of 2023 I lost one of my very best friends and spiraled into a depression deeper than I’ve ever experienced. I was lost and adrift. I frequently got distracted and frustrated with my work. Going from working in an office full of people to being by myself most of the time was a new level of hell for me. Suddenly I was a fish out of water. I didn’t know much about meters and scales and here I was trying to talk to engineers about the damn things. I nearly failed accounting in college and now I was rage reading Quickbooks For Dummies and trying not to feel like a complete idiot. It was a very humbling lesson on the fragility of my ego. I was on the struggle bus big time. I spent most days frustrated and feeling clueless but the victories started coming and those were sweeter than honey. Our “this will be great and will only take a few months” was a gross and naive underestimate.
By the time we officially took ownership of the business in April of 2024, we’d started to get a handle on things. It wasn’t pretty, and it definitely wasn’t perfect, but most days we were moving in the right direction. By October of 2024, I realized that my daily exhaustion had little to do with my physical health and almost everything to do with my mental health. I began to work through my depression and, with the help of my family, doctors, and modern medicine, I started to come up for air.
Looking back, as much as my work situation contributed to my mental health struggles, it was also the best place for me to be. I don’t think I could have handled a job with regular hours and a rigid structure at the time. Working for our company allowed me to take days off when I needed to, gave me the freedom to go into the office looking like absolute shit if that’s all I could make myself put on that day, and opened up opportunities for me to help with The Twins school, something that I found and still find immense joy in.
It wasn’t just the job flexibility that helped though. If The Hubs hadn’t been working so hard to support our family financially, we could have easily spiraled into complete financial ruin. I won’t lie, it got pretty bad, but by the grace of God we’re working on repairing the damage. Through all of the struggles, I’ve never doubted his ability to do amazing work for our customers. The more I learn about our products and industry, the more blown away I am by his knowledge and abilities. He really is incredible and his intelligence has always been what attracted me to him most. Watching him problem solve every day is one of my favorite parts of working together. (There’s also a lot to be said for being able to hug your spouse at pretty much any time during the work day.)
We made a lot of mistakes when we first took over. We continue to make mistakes and, I’ve been assured, that mistake making never truly ends for those who are focused on growth. We’ve both learned so much about business and each other. I’ve found strength in myself and grown in ways I didn’t think were possible. The Hubs and I work really well together most days and I’m thankful for the opportunity to work together. Somewhere along the line I found that when people asked me what I did for a living I’d stopped saying “I’m helping my husband with his business” and started proudly saying “My husband and I own a meter and scale company. He handles the technical and mechanical work and I handle the sales and procurement.” (Obviously both are still wild understatements but the change in mentality is apparent).
We couldn’t have made it here without so much support though. My mentors are wonderful people who have helped us so much. They’ve answered so many questions and given a thousand pep talks. My family has been an unending source of encouragement and support. My brother works for us, one cousin is building our website, another has come to work with us on a couple of projects when we needed an extra hand, my Bonus Mom helped us organize our files (a Herculean task on its own) and throw out so much garbage, and my Bonus Grandmother has become one of my most trusted advisors. My in laws are always there to lend an helping hand and have worked with us on some big projects. Our parents took turns keeping the kids over the summer so they wouldn’t be stuck at the shop all day. Our friends both new and old have rallied behind us in more ways than I can say. I could literally go on for days.
The Hubs and I have spent all month stressing, packing and moving our business and my in laws’ into a new shop, and taking turns with who gets to have the complete mental breakdown while the other is tasked with being the strong one in our relationship. I keep telling him that as long as we don’t both freak out and have a meltdown at the same time we’ll be fine. Impressively, we’ve only both flipped out at the same time once and honestly I think we both just needed to eat lunch. While this move is scary, it’s also really exciting. Moving into a new building marks a new period of growth for our company.
Looking back at my opinions on working together, I can see that I was wrong in a lot of ways. “No way we could work together” was definitely incorrect. We actually work together really well most days. “I didn’t go to college for four years to just be your helper” was partially incorrect. I didn’t go to college to be a helper, but I did go to college to learn how to run businesses which incidentally looks like helping my husband build our company. “I don’t think spending that much time together is a good idea.” Yea, sometimes it’s not, but I schedule his appointments so I can make sure we have time apart. Hahaha! “I don’t want to lose who I am because every part of our lives is connected.” If anything, I’ve uncovered parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. “We can’t do that, we’ll kill each other.” Eh…this one we take day by day but so far so good.
I’m thankful for our life and proud of how far we’ve come and where we’re headed. Onward and upward!
Mom Van Confessions 