When you have little kids, people seem to think it’s okay to ask weird personal questions about them and you. Things they wouldn’t ask about older children. “Do they sleep through the night?” “Did you nurse them?” “Are they picky eaters?” Not terrible questions, just strange things that people seem to ask in an effort to make conversation.
When you have twins, people take it to a whole other level. “Are they identical or fraternal?” This one doesn’t bother me because it’s not super invasive. “Are they natural or IVF?” What the hell does natural even mean?! They are babies not aliens. All babies are natural regardless of how they were hatched. “Were you trying for twins?” In case you were wondering, you can hope for twins but trying for twins isn’t really a thing. If it’s gonna happen it will happen. “Who’s older?” They were literally born on the same day! What does it matter?
People ask all sorts of things but the question that I hate the most honestly shocks me every time I hear it.
“Which one is the evil twin?”
Sorry what? Evil twin? EVIL TWIN?!
First of all, they are two so the real answer is both. (Kidding!) This isn’t a fairytale or soap opera people! They aren’t two halves of a single person. They are two individual people. Would you approach a mother with two singletons and say “which one is the evil one?” NOPE! That’s crazy. Why? Because it’s not okay to ask people if their kids are evil even if they are twins.
My kids are kids. Neither is evil. Neither is good all of the time. They take turns being wild and crazy and chatty and snuggly and loving. They are perfectly themselves. They are not hero and villain. One isn’t plotting the destruction of the world while the other strives for peace. And if one day one happens to be nicer than the other it won’t be because her sister is mean or evil. It will be because that’s the path she’s chosen for herself.